Having Fun—It’s Okay. Really.

For many of us, being fat is a gigantic cluster of things that are not fun.  We don’t feel good, we don’t have a lot of energy, we don’t feel sexy, we want to hide our fatness from others, we’re not comfortable standing/walking/sitting in small chairs/etc.  Our reasons for being fat are also not fun: addiction, abuse, fear, self-loathing, depression, poverty, etc.  All of this combines in our brains to convince us we’re not really that into fun.

We pretend we prefer the life we’re living.  We pretend we’re just the “stay at home and read a book” type.  We pretend that the sofa and TV is how we like to spend our evenings.  And the big bowl of ice cream or Doritos does take the edge off the pain, so it’s really not that bad.

Or so we try to convince ourselves.

We do a really great job of convincing ourselves, too.  We come to believe it.  We come to believe that there’s something dangerous about fun, that we don’t deserve it, and that if we have too much of it we’re just inviting trouble.

Guess what?  It’s time to turn that around.  It’s time to work that joy muscle, and get it back into fighting trim.

I had a lot of trouble with this.  As I lost the weight, I had more energy.  Even without changing anything external in my life, I needed less sleep and had more physical reserves.  I could go out dancing or socializing and not pay a heavy price in fatigue the next day.  But it made me deeply uneasy.  I felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, or like I was doing something wrong.

Well, I wasn’t.  There’s nothing wrong with fun.  If you’ve been having too little of it for too long, there’s also nothing wrong with a little fun bingeing.  Sure, you need to make sure your rent is paid and the kids are fed, but beyond your basic responsibilities it’s okay to just celebrate life.

Keep an eye on yourself.  If you find yourself saying no to something, ask yourself why.  Is it just out of habit?  Do you feel you have exceeded some “fun budget” and don’t deserve more?  Is it something that fat you couldn’t have enjoyed but thin you can?

Try saying yes instead.  I accepted all party invitations for a while, no matter what they were.  I went to a wedding fundraiser party for a couple I’d never even heard of, much less met.  I wasn’t invited, I just saw the party go by on Facebook and a couple people I knew were going.  I had an amazing time, danced my ass off, and am now friends with the couple.

Saying yes can take you some random places.  You might decide you don’t like some of the things you try.  But at least you gave them a shot and learned something about yourself.  I promise you—you will love some of the random things you try.

Surprise yourself.  Grow your world.  Celebrate life and your body.

Have fun.